Home > General > Ways to polish a turd

Ways to polish a turd

There are rumors and creepy eBay sales suggesting that Tom Cruise and Katie (now Kate) Holmes have preserved daughter Suri’s first poop by having it bronzed and mounted onto quite a snazzy plaque. Who knows if it’s true, but somehow, it doesn’t seem surprising, does it? I’m also reminded of the movie Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, where one character was so obsessed with the group ABBA that he fished an “ABBA Turd” out of a toilet and wore it around his neck. Sound crazy? Sound extreme? Sure does, and yet, not surprising in today’s world.

A little more tame of the turd collectors are those who are fascinated with fossilized dinosaur dookie. Those polished turds get a big, scientific name which makes the collecting of them acceptable and not the slightest bit creepy. Those turds are called “corprolites.” And there’s a market for them, for the originals and the replicas. This brings me to why YOU may be interested in polishing some turds.

The easiest way would be to invest in a rock tumbler. You can find them in department stores and online from $15 to $600. Many come with grit and jewelry mounts. They range from beginner to hobbyist and professional, come in different sizes, and are either rotary tumblers or vibratory tumblers. The effect you’re trying to get with a tumbler is to do in a short period of time what rivers and oceans take years to do. The coarsest rock can become smooth. Your turd is no different.

Categories: General
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